The following is an unedited, stream-of-consciousness personal journal used to experiment with different subjects outside of assignments and to practice free-writing. It shouldn't (at all) be viewed as a portfolio of polished work.

To see examples of my professional writing, please visit ginabegin.contently.com. For photography, please visit eyeem.com/u/ginabegin or my Instagram channel @ginabegin.

All In

photo used from a free site, photographer unknown


Life's twists, turns and forks have left me wondering if those bends mean I have to follow, or if I should do a little off-roading. In the past I've tried starting out on several different paths at once, only to find as they diverged, I could no longer keep up. I'm only one person- apparently I have limitations to what I can accomplish in one day.

The past few days, eh, months! have brought a little sadness, but a whole lot of happiness, too. I'm finding that what I've always been passionate about is just coming together in my life. In the past I was persuaded to stay away from it... my passions couldn't become a real job... it wasn't something that would pay the bills... it's not a good priority.

So I stopped thinking of  them as real-world pursuits and tried to be satisfied with them as hobbies. I attempted to apply myself to education and jobs in fields that were considered respectable and "real" . But because I wasn't 100% there my pursuits in these areas left me feeling unfulfilled. I did alright but my heart was somewhere else.

With these twists and turns, I've been brought suddenly back face-to-face with my real love. Without the frustrations of floundering in the past I don't think I could appreciate it as much as I do now. And now that I have it, I realize it's been right for me all along. I guess that's part of life and coming into your own. It's like Erykah Badu says, "I please me cuz I can't please you, and that's why I do what I do". So now instead of trying out all those other little forks, I'm dedicating myself to one.

Gotta be all in.



Spent half my life on a search for nothin’
I came up with somethin’
It’s on again!
I found myself by the river and jumped in
It’s all or nothing, gotta be all in

7 comments:

  1. I've been thinking a lot the past week or so about pursuing things we are passionate about. It's left me wondering, "What am I passionate about? Surely there is something!"

    So I think you are to be commended for not only finding it, but throwing yourself into it. Good luck!

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  2. You are good with your words! Very well said, sounds like a similar path I'm currently wandering! Thanks for sharing, I don't think happiness is a bet you can lose on :)

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  3. And the fork is.....skiing? Do tell!

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  4. This is huge!! do you realize that so many people is this world, never find that? Most people just settle because the world tries to impose limitations or restrictions. I'm so happy you've discovered that it was right in front of you, and all you had to do was take that step. This is just the beginning... :)

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  5. So the last 2 comments I made on Gina's wonderful little blog here, were copied and posted for me by GB. I just want to make it clear that I am not, nor have I ever been "commentely challenged". Um..yes in my spare time I like to make up words..LOL. In the future Gina has promised to kick my butt, and tell me to post my own comments. :P

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  6. As I've been reading over your postings, for the last couple days, Gina you have an incredible talent for finding beauty and excitement in your life.. And for sharing it with people! I mean, look at all your blog responders... we love to feed off of what you see! Thanks for doing this.

    This post, from 11/17 rang true to me. It could practically have been written in my journal. ;) And I even learned what you learned... that the time you spent floundering helped you to know all the more than your passion was right for you... and so did I.

    But you know what? To me, that makes the steps that brought me to that pinnacle moment all the more beautiful. It's not as if my life didn't start until I found my passion. My life was great, every day of it, leading up to it... and now my appreciation for life just excellerates. =)

    Keep skiing, Gina,
    Paul

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